I disagree with 10cc

I'm working on the early shift these days and my body is not made for it. As a result, I've found myself staring blankly at my computer screen for the last twenty minutes trying to think of something to write. Nothing is happening. I'm not even sure I'll post what I've written so far. Lets face it, its not very interesting is it?

I tell you something else that isn't interesting. Cricket. My GOD its dull.

Now, in case you weren't sure, I am a man. Because I am a man, I love sport. I can't help it, its genetics. Its fair to say I'm obsessed with football. Being Welsh, I sort of have to like rugby. I can happily sit through a good tennis match, and at a push I can even watch an hour or two of golf, when I'm very hungover, and physically unable to switch channels. But, the sight of a set of stumps is enough to induce a coma.

Believe me, I've tried. I've made concerted efforts to take a cocktail of stimulants before switching on the television, but I rarely last an over before having to be resuscitated. Even the shortened format, Twenty20, (pretty much an admission from the cricket world that, yes, lord have mercy on our souls, this is so very, very boring, lets make it as quick and painless as possible), holds no interest. They have bands you know. And food stalls. And jacuzzis. And anything else that might distract people from the fact there's cricket on.

The Ashes began earlier this week. If you didn't know, its a series of five cricket matches between England and Australia that seems to happen whenever the players have a spare few months to fill. Its been going on for years and years, (actually years and years, it doesn't just feel that way), and its very important indeed. Its viewed by many as the ultimate cricketing contest around. Four years ago, England won. Of the appoximate 53,000 hours of play, a whopping 7 minutes of it was exciting, and even I managed to stay conscious for part of it. But I've checked the records, and it seems this was the only time anything has ever actually happened on a cricket pitch. (NB I've since double checked, and I take it back. There was an incident with a woodpigeon in an obscure second division county game back in 1983. But that was it).

It says something about a sport that one of the most enduring memories of that series, when England hit the pinnacle of their game and covered themselves in cricketing glory, was the drunken state of Andrew Flintoff during the victory parade around London. To be fair, it was very funny, and reflected brilliantly by Sky's Soccer AM, here.

He and the rest of the squad went to meet Tony Blair at No.10 that day. Apparently took a tinkle in the rosebush. He was hailed as a hero. Not long after England were terrible at cricket again, and Flintoff was caught getting drunk and falling off a pedalo before some other tedious match or other. He was labelled a 'disgrace'. Funny that.

Anyway, drunken antics aside, I just can't get on with cricket. Actually, golf is crap too, isn't it? And motor racing. And cycling. Oh God, what about horse racing? People are forced to put large amounts of money on it to make it interesting. And don't even get me started on marathon running...or any winter sports...or...

Still, football's brilliant.