I'm getting really frustrated with my internet connection this evening. It keeps cutting off at random times, and its taken me fifteen whole minutes to get as far as signing in to blogspot. Its annoying.
And they say nurses have it tough.
To make matters worse there is very little on the television. At the time of writing I have a choice of watching a minor celebrity I don't really have any interest in finding out more about her family tree, some morons pitching some inventions that no one in their right mind will ever buy (presented by an economist with such a wonky eye it very nearly put me off my dinner), highlights of a programme where nothing happens 24-hours a day (damn you Orwell), and a film starring Jean Claude Van Damme, which I have never seen before or know nothing about, but I can guarantee you the premise of which involves an ex-cop using his terrible English accent and considerable martial arts skills to thwart an evil drugs cartel and/or crime lords who have in some way caused him some sort of hardship in the past which he has never forgotten and will eventually exact revenge for.
Oh, and Midsomer f**king Murders.
And that's just the terrestrial channels. I have a whole clutch of cable channels offering nothing but repeats, grainy CCTV camera footage of thugs up to no good, (accompanied by Danny Dyer's Mockney tones stressing how 'pwoper nawhty' they all are), and 'that' episode of Friends, you know 'The one you've seen about a hundred-million times over and can't laugh at anymore because you're just NUMB from over-exposure'.
The music channels are just wall to wall R&B vocalists apologising for their constant infidelity through an autotuner, over the same soul-less repetitive beat. Featuring Kanye West, obviously. Even the sports channels can only give me ten-pin bowling and motorsport.
Sorry for the rant. But it has made me feel a bit better. As has this video, which helps illustrate my point perfectly.
And they say nurses have it tough.
To make matters worse there is very little on the television. At the time of writing I have a choice of watching a minor celebrity I don't really have any interest in finding out more about her family tree, some morons pitching some inventions that no one in their right mind will ever buy (presented by an economist with such a wonky eye it very nearly put me off my dinner), highlights of a programme where nothing happens 24-hours a day (damn you Orwell), and a film starring Jean Claude Van Damme, which I have never seen before or know nothing about, but I can guarantee you the premise of which involves an ex-cop using his terrible English accent and considerable martial arts skills to thwart an evil drugs cartel and/or crime lords who have in some way caused him some sort of hardship in the past which he has never forgotten and will eventually exact revenge for.
Oh, and Midsomer f**king Murders.
And that's just the terrestrial channels. I have a whole clutch of cable channels offering nothing but repeats, grainy CCTV camera footage of thugs up to no good, (accompanied by Danny Dyer's Mockney tones stressing how 'pwoper nawhty' they all are), and 'that' episode of Friends, you know 'The one you've seen about a hundred-million times over and can't laugh at anymore because you're just NUMB from over-exposure'.
The music channels are just wall to wall R&B vocalists apologising for their constant infidelity through an autotuner, over the same soul-less repetitive beat. Featuring Kanye West, obviously. Even the sports channels can only give me ten-pin bowling and motorsport.
Sorry for the rant. But it has made me feel a bit better. As has this video, which helps illustrate my point perfectly.
3 comments:
All true except for wonky eyes. They are GREAT.
I think its more his entire being that's wonky to be honest. Not just the eyes. He's not a member of SWEMP though is he? No, didn't think so. He's not OFFICIAL...
Post a Comment