What's in a name?

What I'm about to tell you is the honest truth. This is no lie. There is a man, in this world we call Earth, whose name is Dennis Shitler.

I'll just let that one sink in a moment. Take your time, it is a biggie. Dennis. Shitler.

Part of me just wants to leave it there. End the post right now. There isn't really any deconstruction needed is there? His name is Dennis Shitler, thank you, goodnight.

But, lets think this through. Dennis. Good start. Good, solid Christian name that. Dennis what? Dennis Shitler. Right. Well...

Where do you start? 'Shitler. That's quite similar to Hitler, isn't it? In fact, its got the word Hitler in it, hasn't it?' 'Yep.' 'Its also got the word shit in it too.' 'Again, affirmative.'

Now, I imagine that somewhere along the line, his family name was actually Hitler. I can understand why they'd want to change it. Sorry Hitler fans, but Our Adolf was a bit of a bastard. As a direct result, the surname has become less popular. You don't hear of many famous Hitlers these days. The new series of Strictly Come Dancing will not feature Corrie star Denise Hitler, will it? No. 'Next week on Who Do You Think You Are?, comedian and entertainer Bobby Hitler looks back through his family history and discovers a shocking secret...' You just don't hear of it. But, Shitler?

He worked in a call centre. (Dennis Shitler I mean, not Hitler. A lot of people would have been far better off if Adolf had to fill his time selling insurance rather than misinterpreting Nietzsche). That's about as much as he'll ever be able to do. He won't be able to put his name to anything. How many of you would rush to the cinema to see the latest 'Shitler' movie? 'Coldplay have been denied the number one spot again by X-Factor winner Dennis Shitler'. Not going to happen.

How do you meet girls with that name? When do you tell them? Do you get it straight out there? First date; 'Its only fair you should know something about me'. 'What is it? Are you much older than you said you were? Do you have a drinking problem? Are you dying?' 'No. Its just that...my surname...isn't Smith...'

Or maybe you wait until the wedding? 'Surprise!'

Good luck to him.