In Dyer need of a change

If I were a footballer, I'd be David Bentley. If I'd have fancied punching people for a living, I think I'd be like Audley Harrison. Had I decided to be in the acting game, I'd probably be Danny Dyer.

Like those people, when I began this blog I showed so much potential. Potential that just hasn't been realised.

However, I'm determined not to become another 'Fancy Dan' fringe player. I refuse to end up flat on my back, being called 'Audrey' by my mocking peers. I will not churn out film after tiresome straight-to-dvd film with Tamer Hassan, my only friend in the world, and the only man on earth who seems to want me to continue this empty shell of an acting career/life by offering me roles where I can speak in a hammed up cockney accent and pretend to be a 'geezer', conveniently forgetting that interest in British gangster flicks died around the same time Madonna got her sinewy talons in to Guy Ritchie. Still, at least I have 'Deadliest Men' and 'I Believe In UFOs' to be proud of. I wish I was dead.

This rather long-winded analogy is designed to make the point that I've realised I quite simply haven't been writing regularly enough. Again. But, I've recently had time to think and reassess what's important to me in life, so I've shuffled a few things around to spend more time doing the things I enjoy. So serious am I about this that I've even made a list. That's practically a legally binding contract.

One of the things on the list is to at least start writing something, anything really, by the end of this year. But, I need to get back in to the swing of things first. Starting now.


* Since posting this, Danny Dyer's lawyers have been in contact with concerns about certain aspects of the post that deal with their client's career and mental state. They wish it to be stated that Mr.Dyer is in fact NOT proud of 'I Believe In UFOs' at all. He thought it was a big pile of shite like the rest of us.